I have to accept it's kinda hard to live by knowing that you like girls and guys alike, while keeping it a secret. And why? I mean maybe I'm afraid the society won't accept me as I am even in a 21st century society. Why do I care? I have a reputation to maintain... I'm afraid in a world as globalized as it is, everyone will know what I do, gossip will fly around, and people will start judging me, limiting in this way possible opportunities in the future. How long will I keep up with this lie? I hope not much longer, just can't find out a way to solve it now!
Going to other cities and countries is a great way to release the pressure, and experiencing new things. Sadly enough, I haven't made the most of my time abroad. And it is not because I didn't try, believe me I did, but there's this part of me that just keeps me somehow "controlled", again, cause of the globalization hypothesis. Maybe I overthink everything... I dunno!
Anyway, I have a crush on a guy that takes a language class in the same place I do. When I leave, sometimes I get to see him, and a couple of times our eyes have locked for a couple seconds... but I dunno if it is my perception only or if he is interested aswell. He is younger, maybe a couple years... kinda twinkish and REALLY hot. Always with his headphones, very attractive. But I've never been the kind of guy who takes initiative... not with girls, less with guys! Actually my experience is close to null!
Hopefully time will help me... I really missed parts of being a teenager and experiencing and stuff, and now as a young adult college student I can't wait more to start...
Eye candy 4 u and 4 me!
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